Day 365 of 365

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Hey.... Its me again... If feels like if you were alive, you'd hate me!! 🤪 Let's be honest here.. I have not been online often for you.  The last time I was here was in July 2019. If you were a guy, I would make a very bad girlfriend!!!! 

So, on to what has been happening to me in the last 5mths... 

Let's see 🤔🤔🤔🤔 

LIFE 

Thats what happened.. It hit hard on me & my family. I try to shield all the hardship from my girls & family. Only me & my husband are aware.. He quit his job sometime in June 2019 & till now, he still hasn't secured any other job. He did got hold of one job in August/September but that was it. Nothing came after that. I can't blame him for quitting his last job because in reality, I don't know what actually transpired between him & his employee. I can only imagine.. 🙄🙄 I had used up all my savings/ resources for the coming monthly bills and rentals. 

I feel bad for my girls. During the school holidays which was about 1 1/2mths, We can't take them for a vacation. Our car is constantly asking for some form of repair be it change of tyres, battery, sparkplug.. you name it. Usually during these holiday season, we would go back to visit my in-laws, but now we can't go back. I pity my husband though, he hasn't seen his family in 5mths. I must confess. I feel bad 🙄🤪 Recently I received some cash ($$) from my mother, with this amount, we could use it for a short trip back to his hometown but I didn't tell him. Because I needed this money ($) to pay rentals & bills for the coming months... I feel like a Bad person 💀☠ 

For the last 5mths, I have been suffering some form of anxiety due to this fold of events. 🙄🤨😶😑😶 

And I haven't even started on my girls. I have a 14y/o and a 13y/o. Oh boy 🤨🤪🤨 they are difficult. Raising teenagers are hard!!! Boy problem, Bullying problem. I felt like screaming!!! 😵😵😵 But I kept praying and ask Allah to make me stronger, to make my girls stronger to face these challenges... 

Life is stressful for me. I had to turn to my Happy Place. You already know what that is, right? My Bujo. I have been faithful to it till the very end. Along the way, I have collected loads of bujos materials like washi tapes, stickers, stamps...   

For 2020, I shall continue using Bujo. At least it gives some color to my life. 

That's all my rambling for 2019. I shall continue in 2020 🎉🎈✨🎋🎏🎀

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....

😉😉

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Song of the Day 🎶🎧

This song is on repeat on my playlist 💜📻 ..

  

Boys with Love - BTS ft Halsey

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September, a Virgo

I was born on September 18th.

I dare say that 90% of what is said here is TRUE. 

I dont like to reveal much of my(inner)self to people. So when I got this 🙄, I was shocked 😯 

It got me nailed right in the gutter

 🤕🤒😕

The other 10%.. 🤔🤔 

debatable ☺☺

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BT21

aren't they the cutest?? 🤓❤

~chimmy

~tata

~cooky

~shooky

~rj

~mang

~koya

~van

BTS 💜

End of March 2019

😳😳
Pheww!!! What a month!!!
I dont know about you guys but, my March 2019 has been very busy & chaotic. Full of surprises and sadness 🙄🙄..

I hope April 2019 will be much milder & less chaotic.
Somehow, I highly doubt it 😁😁😁😄😄😄

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The (green) Shoe

First of,
Hello and Good Day to you good people. 🙋 We are now on to the last 10days of March 2019. How is it so far? Good, I hope. 😊
Today I am going to pass on to you an incident that happened to me a few weeks back.
To me, it was a S.A.D tale... 🙄😥
So, my baby sister called me up a few weeks backs telling me that she has a gift for me. You can imagine how terribly excited I was!! 😃😃☺☺
So, I drove to her house feeling all happy and excit-y. When I arrived, I immediately told her to show me the gift.

True story!!!! This WAS the shoe she showed me. I was this close in owning this pair!! 😥😥😥 but fate isnt on my side that day.. The shoe didnt fit!!! She thought that I would fit because I had always been a size smaller than her. But, for that particular pair, I was as same size as her's.. 😥😥😥
Who got the shoe in the end?
My 14y/o daughter!!!! 😯🤕😂😂😂

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Me, the Virgo

~IG virgo_love
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Quote of the Day

~Pinterest 

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..from the Little Black Book

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Little Black Book

Heyyaa 👋

Today, got myself a little black squared book for my journaling. It was difficult to find this type of notebook.

Not quite satisfied though, what I really wanted was dotted notebook but, I got myself the squared one instead.. 😥



Be as it may, I'll try my best to make this planner as happy & as colorfull as possible 😊😊 .
We'll see huh..
❤💋

Last Day...

Its the last day of February, 2019...
What have I achieved? 🤔🤔🤔🤔
Honestly, I cant answer that.
Why?

Because I dont know what I have achieved. I feel I havent done anything extraordinary. The last 2 months of 2019 & nothing has changed. Sad isnt it....
I wanted 2019 to be special. Wonder if I still can make it special 🤔🤔

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Chalkboard Art

~pinterest

The Package

The package has arrived 😊✌
The item that we bought online has arrived, yesterday. I am a very happy shopper.

Now we are waiting for the second package. My husband and I bought 2 items. The second has yet to arrive because according to the tracking message, the item will only be shipped out on the 20th. 😕
Note-to-self, try to find item/s that can be found locally. In return, it will shorten your delivery date. 😏
Now, what else can I find on online shopping? 🤔❤💸💸

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Welcome to the New Age

Well... I did it guys. 🙄🙄
After years and years of avoiding home-shopping channels and online shopping websites, today I went on an online shopping app and made my very, very first transaction. 💸💸
All these years, I was under the impression that, to go on an online shopping, you must have a credit card. I guess, not anymore, huh 🙄🤔☺ In today's business world, transactions can be made through ONLINE Banking. I find it really convenient because I do not own a credit card.

Order has been made, lets see if we get the items as per order... 😆😁

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14 Years Ago Today..

Today on 3rd February of 2005, I gave birth to my first born. 



Me & my husband, we were ecstatic. We've been waiting for this pregnancy for almost 3years. I am sure you understand what the pressure was like, when after years of marriage and you are still not pregnant. 🙄 Really hated it then. 



While growing up, she suffered tonsilitis. We almost had to remove it, but since she was still too young (2-3 years old) the doctor had to postponed untill she is a little older, about 6-7 years old. But thank god, when she turned 5 years old, a pharmacist introduced me to a new medication suitable for babies/children with tonsilitis. She didnt need the surgery. 😁😂😂




Fast forward to present time.. 
She has grown up to be my beautiful girl, my bestie, with new acquired interest. Who would have guessed, she'd be obssess with robots & kaijus 😂


~her private collections.

Teenagers!!!
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A Washi Obsession

... Look!!! 😯😮😮
In a month, I have collected this much of Washi tapes and tapes!!
Send HELP!!




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To Commit or Not To Commit

✌😋

As we are approaching towards the end of the first month of the new year, how has it been so far?
Good?
Average?
Bad?
For me, mehh!!.. 🤔🤓 too early too tell. But its been good so far.
The kids are settling in with school, homeworks, life as an edgy teenager. Us the parents, still with the same problems, this thing call ADULTING.
But this year, I am starting a new thing. Its not exactly new. The last time I engange myself in this activity was during the time when i was working, some 13-14 years ago. I am starting a Planner.


cr~Pinterest


😁😆 I use to love Planners and writting in them. The last time I used one these, people dont decorate their planners & make it look cute. It was a serious commitment. But nowadays, Planners has become fun again & I want one. So starting Jan-2019, I decided to commit a fun Planner for myself, as a hobby.

Lets see how long this hobby will last.. 😉
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Pinterest

Oh My Gawwwddd!!!! ❤❤
Why wasnt I been told that Pintetest is so much fun!!?????? 🤓😋
I am declaring that Pinterest is the best!!! I lost track hours and hours a day whenever I am there. Love it... Just love it!!!!!

This is part of my Pintetrest.. 😍😍
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Hashtag 10 Year Challange

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Lately, we have seen this hashtag "10yr Challenge" flooding all social media platforms. I think its a good hashtag. So today, I am going to fulfill this hashtag by reflecting my last 10 years...
 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔


10years ago, this blog is already up &  running. I started blogging mainly and solely because I needed a place to express myself without being judged. Even though I have been away for the past 6yrs, I am determined to pick-up the pieces & start again.
See.. I am rambling again 😅
I have noticed after going through this blog, I find that 10yrs ago, for the first few months of 2009 at least, I was still a rather(or seems like) an optimistic person. I see the good in everything even though I knew they weren't. I was giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.
2009 was also a major turning point of my life. My husband's, my girls, Us. That year, our house was caught in a fire. The incident left a big scar in our lives, me & my husband's, in my girls lives & my sister's live. Many may not know this but, at that time, we were renting my sister's house. She moved away & she didnt want the house to be empty so, she offered us to move-in. It was a beautiful house, but alas...
After that incident, me & my husband were left clueless on how we should continue living. We were left penniless. We only manage to safe our girls birth certificates. All other things were lost and burnt to the ground. Amidst it alI, I am so thankfull that Allah hasnt taken our lives that night. We were all safe, me, my husband, my beautiful babies... Its as if Allah is giving us a second chance in life. Its like Allah wants us to do a better do-over in raising our girls & in becoming better person. Now, alhmadullilah, we manage to rent a place to live & we have been here almost 10years now. 😌😌
Fast forward to a few years later, I received another shocking news, my husband was diagnosed suffering a Heart Attack. I was really shocked. I was mostly scared. So scared to carry on living. I didnt know how to raise my girls without him because he was a major part of my life. Sure we have argued and annoyed with one another but, he is my bestfriend. 😋✌During those sleepless nights, I realised that I need to "play" a psychology game with myself. So I kept saying over and over, "For him to get better, he needs to see that I am a strong person. To become a strong person, you mustn't tear-up in front of him. He needs to see this more than you think." Its weird right, trying to deceive your ownself but it works!! Not long after, he was diagnosed with an "acute angina" & not Heart Attack. He went to doctor's appointments, taken blood tests, did all kinds x-rays and scans available. Did it all, to this day not a single appointment or test that he missed. About 6-7 years later (2018) I found out that I am Diabetic and on medication. Thankfully now, my doctor has put me on 1 medication only. And to be honest, I dont like taking any kind of medications. They are scary!!. 😅 

I have come to realise that, 10 years is a long time. A very long time. Lots has happened during those times like..
New friends. 
People we lost.
All of these, be it a small incident or a major incident, it still leaves an impact in our lives. In fact, it is still happening to us right now. This very instance. I guess what I am trying to say is that, this "10year challenge" hashtag is a good hashtag because we get to re-evaluate, a do-over on our life and hopefully change for the better. 
Thats all for now, see ya 💋

Thursday feels

Dont you just hate when someone says that to you? It makes them feel like they have the upper hand in everything, including your life. 

I hate that!! 

You dont know me! 

You dont know what I've been through! 

Who are you to judge me, my life? 

I just hate these people!! Really hate them. 

#angermode #on 

2019

.... It took me 6yrs to find you. I found you, at last!!! We REALLY should update this page, shouldn't we?