December 31, 2009

..and the award goes to..

..after much consideration
THE MAN OF THE YEAR FOR 2009 is...




..ROBERT PATTINSON.




*well, my award anyways!!!..hehee..*

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

December 21, 2009

Learning to say NO

"..this two-letter word seems harsh to some
but sometimes we need to say it."

I was given this piece of advice yesterday by someone who is
very close to me, and I believe that he can actually "read" me..
it's either that or..
I am very predictable!!

A penny for your thoughts..
"what would you do when you feel that you are in the wrong place and
hanging out with the wrong group of people?"

Answer : LEAVE
that is what a normal person would do
but not me!!
yes!! I stayed!!

The story begins 24 years ago,in 1985..

I spent the first 3 years of my teenage life away in a boarding school.
Dont get me wrong, I was very proud to be in the same place as all the learned people, clever people, creative people..in fact, I imagined that some of their talents would brush-on to me...
because..
I am the least talented person with a considerable low IQ(..that is why I hate these IQ test that they made me do!!)

In fact, throughout the entire 3 years,
I've never ever made conversations with my own classmates(especially the guys)
why?
well..for one they are intelligent and way too cool!!
as for me..
even geeks look much cooler than me!!!
really!!!

I hated that place but
what can a thirteen year old girl do?
She has to obey what destiny that has been planned out for her
for the next 5 to 7 years of her life...
She has an obligation to obey this life "journey"

How I hated that place..
..the people
..the environment

I swear everyday, for the next 3 years that I was getting out of this hell hole
but i didn't know how...

At the age of fifteen, I had my first attack of gastritis and migraine!!
It's a bit young to have gastritis & migraine at that age..that was what the doctor said.. they had to do a full CAT Scans on me!! I was only fifteen!!! dammit!!
I was told to keep it a secret, from my father...(hhmmm..I wonder where is the scan image being kept)..

I curse that place with all my being, heart and soul!!

I was so thankful and blessed when I was informed that I was not able to continue furthering my studies there (because of my extremely bad academic results!!.)
My soul was smilling at last!!
The black clouds that has been hovering me for the past 3 years has disapeared!!

Allah still loves me!!!

But, my family was not excited. In fact they were disappointed.
Again, I have brought shame to my family..
at least now, I am able to smile...

Fast forward to the present...

Facebook..
for the past months, I have been very active updating my facebook,
I have met friends that I have not met in 20 odd years!
Which is great because, we get to see how they have changed physically and their achievements...

But there are a people that I want to avoid.

Some of them wants me to add them to my list.
Yes, they were from my teenage years in hell!!
They are not what I would call good friends
but the irony is..
they (somehow) considered me as a friend!!

Seeing their names and looking at their pictures
brings back the memories of those sad and lonely years
that I have successfully forgotten!!

I don't think I want to go back to that place..
even if it has been more than a decade ago!!..

Its too painful and cold...

This is why I was advice to say NO..
NO to them, the people
NO to going back to that cold and painful hell

LEARN TO SAY NO...



p/s..The person that gave me this
strong advice, has no facebook account!!!
Weird??
Maybe.. a little
but I think..
he finds his pass more darker
and a worse hell-hole than mine....

wait a second!!.. could this actually be the reason
why we are so good together?..
errr. scary!!!

December 19, 2009

City of Angels

A few nights ago,
the telly was showing the movie CITY OF ANGELS; Nicholas Cage & Meg Ryan..
and I remembered why I loved this movie years ago!

and now..

for the past few days,
I can't get this song out of my head..
IRIS by the GOO GOO DOLLS...
what a killer song!!!...

I need you to feel this song..




are you feeling it now?

December 17, 2009

Crowded Head!!...

These are the questions/situation, call it anything you like
but
these are voices that I kept on hearing in my head, everyday...

.. Needs the missing piece of her puzzle to turn up...maybe one day?!

.. Why is it when u think your doing the right thing, something happens and your right back where u started from?

.. Knows what she wants, but doesn't know how to get it!

.. Thinks maybe its easier to keep the wall up.

.. Wonders why some of the most important decisions in life have to be SO damn hard to make.

.. Standing at the cross roads, doesn't know which path to chose

.. I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant

.. Every time they say your name, it cuts a little deeper into the already existing pain, and all i can think is how they cant see what i saw.

.. SSHHH...if you stay really quiet... you can hear the voices in my head too!

.. The natural order of things returns the balance one day all the hurt and pain caused returns to the person who caused it eventually you just have to wait

And, most of times..
is in the mood to push someone down the stairs, hit them over the head with a fire extinguisher then berry the body under the garden patio


Is there something wrong with me?

December 15, 2009

The new JOARY

Yes!!!

Hahaaa.. at last I have outdone myself by changing my template!!!

I have been wanting to do this for ages and now
I have successfully done it!!!

I am so proud of myself!!

I went to see a movie...

..and at last, I have gone to watch the movie that everyone has been talking about
for the past months.

and you know what,

I actually enjoyed every minute of it!!!!

You have to admit, the vampire IS super cute!!!

December 8, 2009

Oyazumi!!

Man!! I really need to update my blog!!!

I will!! I promise!!

I just need some inspiration...


are you inspired, now?
..no
how about now?
..no
now?
..no
what about now?
..no


AARRGGHHH!!!!


okay...
...
and now?
...

ahah!!!
we may be a bit inspired...
....
let me examine the picture in detail and I'll get back to you.
how does that sound? ...

October 31, 2009

Art Interpretation Part 2

This art was done by my 3year old baby...

.. Picture 1

.. Picture 2

She was experimenting the affects of colors on a white background.
So cute!!!


Let me introduce to you once again..

This is Syakira, my 4year old baby

and

this is Alyaa, my 3year old baby.
She's actually waiting (in patience) for her turn to use the computer..

October 28, 2009

October 24, 2009

An Art Interpretation by a 4year old

..can you see the heart?





..the bright shiny sun



This artwork was made by Syakira, my 4year old baby girl..
*sob..sob*

When did she grow up so fast?...

October 21, 2009

Words from the HEART

Wow!! it sure feels weird..
it has been so long since I've written anything here.
It feels kind of foreign.
How long have I been out? since June/July, right?

Almost half a year!!..
That is long...

People say you need to be inspired to do this kind of thing.
Maybe that's true
but then again
It doesn't have to be that way.

The good thing about writing on a blog is, for me
you can write anything your hearts desire..

The only problem now is..
what does your heart wants to say?

She must have a story to tell, right?
She has seen so many things all these years
She has felt your sadness and happiness

and most of all

She was there during your difficult times making decisions may it be good or bad.
So it must have something to say
or at least a

Short comment...

I suppose my heart is still not as open as everyone wants her to be.
She still has some secrets that she doesn't want to share

Not yet, that is...

The time will come when she opens up... and when it does

All hell breaks loose!!

ON A LIGHTER NOTE...


I find the baby REALLY cute!!!
life was so much simpler when we were babies, huh!!...

October 19, 2009

The New Me...

I needed this.
The NEW me..
even though some thing remains the same.

I feel happier with this new facelift.
No more leaving in the dark..
Everything is..
..clean
..white
..fresh

I know now, I'll be coming back here more often...

July 17, 2009

A Girl's Never Ending Love




Why can't we girls be like her, Pucca?

She is ...
1- Clever
2- Resourceful
3- Persistent

How I had wish that I was like her..

Bummer!!

July 11, 2009

Social Networking .. Social Utility .. whatever!!

Oh man!!
What a drag!!!...

This is what happens when you start using the social network available on the net.


Situation 1:-

Recently, my social network page have been flooding with messages
from my ex co-worker...

They want to organise a Reunion.

I do want to go and meet them, just for the fun of it but the thing is..
The majority will probably not want to meet me but instead
wants to meet my husband..

Me?
I'm just a camouflage ...
I've realized it a long, long time ago and it doesn't really bother me anymore, actually..

What really bothers me is..
My husband doesn't show any interest in meeting our old friends.
I have hinted to him my interest in going
lets just hope that
when the time comes, he'll actually agree to come...


Situation 2:-

My reason number one for participating in these social networks is for me to find lost friends.
Me finding friends and not the other way around..

Do you have people/friends(?) that you don't really want to meet?

Its not that you hate them or anything is just that,
during those years that you knew that person..
you seldom talk to him/her...
No matter how you've tried to make friends with them..
they just decided to ignore you

and now...
after many many years...
they decided that they want to be your friend.

ahh!!! what a drag!!!....
dont you just hate it when this happens?

July 1, 2009

Handphone dari Jepun..


Aku tengah tension giler nih!!

Tadi aku ada beli magazine handphone di kedai mamak.
Bukan lah apa tapi, memang tiap-tiap bulan insyaallah aku akan beli magazine nih sebab
suka berangan tengok hand-phone latest & canggih di pasaran.

Tapi,
tiap kali bila habis baca
hati mula jadi sakit!!!

mana tidaknyer...

setelah meleleh-leleh air liur tengok capacity, kecanggihan teknologi & betapa comelnye handphone di luar sana
bila sampai ke mukasurat 10 yang terakhir
magazine nih akan highlite phone-phone dari Jepun..

...hati mula sakit...
...hati dah sakit...

segala jenama besar yg tekinja-kinja
menawarkan teknologi hebat, skrin besar, skrin sesentuh
kamera, pemain audio/video, internet itu ini...

dibanding kan dengan jenama Jepun...

kesemua diatas tadi nih, tahap tahi idung je!!
takde makna nya!!!
walaupun pada telefon jenama Mee Ramen!!!

Satu contoh,
Jepun suka clamshell..
Clamshell standard punya skrin ialah 3inci..
Percuma, skrin diluar telefon 1inci..
Kamera kebanyakan 3megapixel ke atas..
Touch screen dia, tak payah nak cerita lah kan!! buat sakit hati jerr!!.. ADA!!

Tapi
Jepun tak highlite semua nih!!
Mereka lebih highlite pada feature-feature lain antaranya:
..kalis air
..cas phone pakai solar
..tahan jatuh
..mengesan gempa bumi
..men diagnosis penyakit
dan ntah apa-apa lagi!!!

Dan yang paling MENYAKIT KAN HATI!!...

SEMUA DESIGN CANTIK!!!
WARNA NYA..isshh!!! kalau cerita, boleh mengalir air mata!!!
KEYPADNYA!!!..iisshh!!! tak payah nak tekan pun!!

dan yang paling hampeh sekali...

masuk musim panas, ada design baru
masuk musin bunga, ada design ala2 bunga
asal masuk jer musim baru, ada lah design baru mereka!!!

pendekata...

satu design dari jenama barat review nyer tak abis walaupun 3 issue
walhal satu jenama Jepun..
contoh: "Mee Ramen phone"
dah berpuluh jenis design dah keluar ...

Dan kemuncak sakit hati..

Satu pun tak nampak jual di Malaysia
dari mula issue aku follow!!!!

Jadi untuk sejuk kan hati
aku cuba nak minat telefon klon dari China

Tenang hati aku!!!





June 30, 2009

Words that has no meaning...

I am at lost with words..

I know I need to express myself but aarrgghh!!!..
I literally do not have anything constructive to say.
A long time ago someone suggested that I become a writer...
now isn't that ironic!!

I am always looking for something fresh and interesting to share
but lately it seems, I have not heard anything from my inner conscious.

My alter ego...

We have not been talking like we use to. She on the other hand is being very quiet lately and I do not like it!!..

Could it be that she is gone?
My Joary? gone?
massa ka!!??...
That can't be true, right?
My alter ego has actually left me? for good?


Oh no!!! this is NOT good people...
NOT good at all!!!

May 15, 2009

May 13, 2009

March 3rd 2009 - a pictorial





... this was what happened to us on the morning of
March 3rd 2009.

May 12, 2009

Sins of A Women


..People say time heals all wound
I say that's crap!!!

Why am I being so hard on myself, you ask?!
Because its the truth..
Time do not heal all your wounds
it just stays quiet for the right time to
rip you apart, all over again!!!

I never claim to be a good person.
I have done my shares of bad .. things.
and (I think) I have paid my dues..

Then why do this guilt keep re surfing?
Why, this incidents keep haunting me again?
Why do I need to be reminded of the miscarriage?

For the past year (or so), I have lost a very big part of myself
..and I am not talking about my gallstone operation.
And not a day goes by that I do not regret of the
consequences that has fallen onto me.
I almost made THE most wrong decision of my life.
If I had gone trough with it, I don't think (I feel) that I can look at
myself the same way ever again.
I dont think my husband can look at me the same way, ever!!..
.. he'll probably be disgusted..

Abortion it seems, will somehow leaves a psychological affect on to a women.
It is not something to be taken lightly.

But luckily Allah has turned it around.
Fate has turned my story around..
for me, it was a scary predicament..
but it happened anyway.

For the past year (almost),
I have seen people very close to me having babies (3 babies since August '08 and 1 more coming in August '09). And for the past 8 - 9 months, I have been lucky to see them grow up to be
beautiful babies..

And every time I see them, this guilt feeling will crawl up and it makes me want to scream and cry!! ...

Ya Allah, forgive me..

April 28, 2009

Missed me (?)

.. I highly doubt that!
hehee..
anyway..

I am proud to say that I am up and about!!
We have established a broadband line for my
blogging/facebook addiction..

A million thanks to the Telekom Malaysia and my Husband ...

oh by the way, I have found a friend whom I have lost for quite awhile..
I have added his name/blog at my "People of Interest".

Soul, if you are reading this, I have added your name... jgn malu-malu ek!!..

Got to go.. be safe people..

Sayonara!!

April 12, 2009

Todays Headline..

Have you ever felt excited after shopping?
That was what happened to me earlier...

We bought a couch.
An L shape couch.
Our first couch.

The couch will be perfect for our new house..

Other news..
We will be moving into the new house tomorrow.
I am calling it "the house" because I still need some adjusting/comfortable with
the new surrounding and neighbourhood.
It will be awhile for us to be up and running on the telephone line and the broadband so, I'm afraid I wont be able to be online for awhile.. (as if I have been updating frequently, huh!??..)

In the meantime, behave yourselves!!..
I'll be back...

April 11, 2009

I did another Quiz

I am guilty as charged!!
I can't help myself!!! This has turned out to be quite a fun activity..hehehehee..
I did answered all the question given as truthful as I can & believe it or not,
I did not even cheat!

but somehow..
I feel that the result is not quite right..
Honestly, I do not see myself as leader/manager..
and yes, I am at times a good listener but I am definitely not a leader...
but maybe, just maybe I might be a good leader (!?)
A quality that I am not aware off (perhaps?)...

oh my!! this is too much to swallow!!!


Result of your test :

Your results present a correlation ratio with our model superior to 97 % .
( In a general way, a result can be taken into account if this ratio is superior to 30 %.)


Your Profile :


You are 35 % extrovert and 65 % introvert.

Independently of any order of importance :
You are able to have an in-depth thinking, you think before acting, and you know how to communicate your knowledge.
You are also imaginative and creative, you have always new ideas, and you know how to apply them.
Finely you are attentive and cautious, you take into account the needs of others before setting up the defined goals.


Your attitude towards the environment :


facts
feelings
idees

At first, at 35%, you are centered on your thoughts and your actions are determined by your knowledge and your experience.

Then, at a rate of 33%, you are focused on the facts and on the reality, and your decisions are determined by your perception of facts.

Finally, at 30%, you are attached to moral values and feelings, and you have an emotional relation with the environment.


Your highest qualities today :

At 21 %, you are thoughtful and deep, you think before getting into action and you know how to communicate your knowledge.

At 21 %, you are intellectual and intelligent, you keep wondering and inquiring before setting up your next step or defining your values.

At 19 %, you are a creative person, with always new ideas, and you know how to apply them.

At
18 %, you are attuned to others and you show a good emotional intelligence, which allow you to give support to people.

At 18 %, you are creative, you know how to see beauty, you are intuitive and your inspiration comes from the inside.

Finely, you are thoughtful and capable of listening to others, you take into account the needs of others before setting up the defined objectives, you are a manager and a leader, and you know how to organize groups of people and how to give them your energy.








April 4, 2009

Quizzes..

This Facebook thingy can be addictive, yes?
In the beginning, I did not like the idea of people finding me..
Mostly selfish reasons, of course.
I mean, if for the past 10 or more years you have successfully dropped from the grid
hence avoiding certain group of people, wouldn't you want to continue doing just that?

But alas, I lost to this battle..
Day by day I have become addicted to prying on what my other comrades are doing and say in their circle.
Not that I want to join them or anything but just stood there as an independent observer.
Hence, I have neglected my time here with you..

I'm so sorry..

Anyway, lately Facebook has introduced series of quizzes for its member to participate.
Purely for fun..I am guilty of participating in one quiz and now, I cant stop myself.
One quiz after another..
Its like a drug..
I kept coming back for more..

These quizzes are quite interesting and funny, actually!!
and, I want to share some of the quizzes that I took..

Among them are : No 1 - Yeehaa!! Yes!!!!..hahaahhaaa!!! if only its true!!

Mazian completed the quiz "Which celebrity should you marry?" with the result Johnny Depp.
You should marry Johnny Depp. You like the bad boy turned good type, the hotel room trasher turned loveable daddy type. He is your soul mate..


No 2 - I did not realise that I could be so violent, honestly!!.. this must be you Joary, my alter ego..

These motherfuckers don't give a FUCK. They will munch your shit up entirely. On the real..


No 3 - .. This hits the spot!!


Mazian completed the quiz "What color is your personality?" with the result Melon.
You are a very shy person. But you are also very compassionate and kind. You love to help other people, and you are very selfless. If someone is hurt, you are always the first one to help even if you don't know them. However, you are very timid, so you don't have many friends. If you want to be someone's friend, tell them. Trust me, they want to be your friend too. Your motto: "Others before me." . Take the quiz!


No 4 - Another Joary's alter ego

Mazian completed the quiz "Are You Clinically Insane?" with the result Sociopath (Antisocial Personality Disorder).
You don't care about rules. You don't care about inflicting pain. In fact, you don't care about anything besides fulfilling your own twisted desires, regardless of the cost to others. This is what makes persons with Antisocial Personality Disorder capable of anything, and thus, the most dangerous of all crazies. Maybe you're not a serial killer... maybe you just take advantage of people at any available opportunity. Maybe you steal for the fun of it, maybe you enjoy hurting people's feelings, or manipulating those around you, pitting them against each other for your own amusement. In any case, you're a sick f***. Get help.. Take the quiz!

No 5 - 50%-50% truth..

Mazian completed the quiz "What Color Is Your Heart?" with the result Crimson.
The Crimson Heart is assertive, brave, energetic, action-oriented, intelligent, individualistic, independent, impulsive, full of strength, competitive, eager, straightforward, forceful, headstrong, pioneering, a leader, focused on the present and freedom-loving. They can also sometimes be intemperate, violent, impatient, fiery, rash, extreme, and arrogant.. Take the quiz!


No 5 - There is some of me in this..

Mazian completed the quiz "Which military general are you?" with the result William T Sherman.
You're the general that the enemy fears; the one that is a disciple of total war who is not afraid to let enemy civilians know that war is not limited to battle between armies. Although you are an able and even gifted high-level strategist, you will always be known as someone that prefers to to attack the enemy wherever possible, even if it means their cities, industry and food production..


After looking at all these results, I find that I am a bit of a cooky!!..
I need help, huh??
Do you think that it was my alter ego aka Joary that answered most of these quizzes?
I personally think that she took over during the test..but of course, you don't believe me..


March 29, 2009

Alone..

..that is a scary word. Dont you agree?

Do you know how lonely I am whenever your not around?
I have no one to talk to
Even when I'm in a room full of people
I am still alone..

Do you know how scary the feeling is?
The feeling of being alone?

You said you'd never leave me alone but alas..
you are spending more & more time with your
friends and
lesser time with us...

I am tired of being alone

How do I make you understand how I feel?

March 27, 2009

25 Things ...

Don’t think too hard. Just jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

1. My ex is still: somewhere out there..

2. I am listening to: 9 crimes by damien rice (song?)

3. Maybe I should: go shopping

4. I love: being in love

5. I don’t understand: why life is so complicated

6. I lost: that someone a long time ago...

7. People say: Eyes is the window to your soul (that is so true..)

8. The meaning of my screen name: is me

9. Love is: dangerously beautiful

10. Somewhere, someone is: thinking of me (i hope!)

11. I will always: be full of love

12. Forever seems: like is not coming this year

13. I will never ever want to: be hurt

14. My cellphone: needs a good camera!!!

15. When I wake up in the morning: its a dawn of a new day

16. I get annoyed when: people treat me as if i'm dumb

17. Boys are: cute (but men are yummy!! hahaaa)

18. Girls are: ..whatever

19. Kisses are the best when: its honest

20. Today: will not be the same as yesterday

21. Tomorrow: will be better (perhaps?)

22. I really want: to turn back time

23. I feel: i need more time to myself

24. I answer my phone: with enthusiast

25. I am: JOARY!!!

March 25, 2009

House of Fire

Where do I begin to tell my story
the chaotic story of
my unprecedented life?

Aahh!! Life... it is so unpredictable!!
you spend your time without the slightest idea that
something that is so unpredictable is about to happen.. and when it does..
it leaves you speechless, dumbfounded and scarred even.

So, how do you handle the aftermath?
Do you carry on and cry 24/7? or
Do you try to find something or someone to blame for all that has happened? or
Do you accept your fate with (false) pride & dignity for everyone to see even though you are breaking into small pieces like a shattered glass.

That was what I did.
I lead everyone around me to believe that me & my family are fine and that we are ok.

Do they know that I am crying inside?
Do they see that the smile and laughter does not reflect in my eyes?

I couldn't show the world how broken I was.
I couldn't even cry or else my girls would see me and they could not shake their nightmares.
I didn't have the heart to tell my husband how scarred I was because he too needed me to be strong for him.

So, what can I really do for myself?
I too needed help..

Untill now, the sight of fire & smoke still scares me..
me and my 4year old child
and I'm sure, my husband too still has nightmares of the incident on the morning of
March 3rd 2009 ...

March 3, 2009

Do you enjoy Japanese song?

Some of my friends find me a bit weird
because I enjoy Japanese music.
Yes, I don't understand what the song is about but the music they make are
beautiful & catchy.

Especially songs that accompany the Japanese anime.
Be it songs from the opening credit or the ending. I happen to like it very much.

Here is one very good example that I want to share with you.
This is the end song from the anime Bleach.
It is from the group Sunset Swish; My Pace
I have attached here 2 versions..

Version 1 : the Music Video..


Version 2 : taken from the anime Bleach..


Now, my point is.. 1 song but it has 2 versions for you to enjoy.
Version 1.. beautiful song
Version 2.. a very cute & funny song that can be enjoyed by anyone..

Dont you agree?

February 15, 2009

Honto ka??

May I ask you a personal question?
What would you do if you had an information that could change someone's life, literally?
And that piece of information happened almost 14years ago?

I was asked this very same question by a very close friend recently,
and you know what, I do not know how to answer her...

One thing for sure, she is very upset!!.. and angry..
She kept on saying over and over again that she wished she could changed it all, and how happy she could have been if only she knew it 14years ago...

14years ago, if only he would have told her what she had longed to hear..
today she would have been a happier person.

All she wanted to know was did he loved her as much as she loved him?

She had done so many things to get his attention... countless things.. crazy things
She would have even killed for him...
and when all her efforts was to no avail, She resorted to the lowest plan of action...
her last resort..
because she was not ready to let him go, just yet...
she tried to make him jealous...

For the past 14years, she kept saying to herself He doesn't feel the same as I do, it is time to let him go...
This has been her mantra for the past 14years..
and over the years, she actually believed that it was true

untill recently...
She told me that
14 years ago that day, the day that she tried to make him jealous.. it actually works!!!
He WAS jealous, really upset and frustrated... he too cried that day..

I asked her..
Didnt you see the signs? Signs that he was jealous?
and you know what she said? She said..
I remember feeling a river of sadness flowing through me that day.
and when I looked at him, I thought I saw something in his eyes but, I wasn't sure....and when I looked again, it was gone!! that "something". And at that point, I knew I had lost him...forever

And today, she wants to cry, badly
but the tears are all gone because
she had cried her last cry that day..

the day she thought she had lost her true love... 14 years ago

I need to help my friend...
Tell me what I can say to her... to heal her.

February 12, 2009

My back hurts!!

My back hurts really bad this time around...
Its that time of the month!!..
Bummer!!

I have nothing much to say..
I'm so sorry!! komeneisai..

Did you noticed my new pet fish?

Please feed them, will you?
Thanks!! aren't they just the cutest?!!

February 3, 2009

A Kodak Moment

I would like to share with all of you
photos of me & my family taken recently (Friday, January 31st 2009)..
I do realize that lately, I have not been taken any photos of me or the family.
I wish I knew why the sudden lack of interest in photos.. I used to love taking pictures...

Anyways... here they are..


..This is my family.. myself, Alyaa (3yrs old), Anuar (my husband) and on his lap is Syakira (4yrs old). We were having steamboat for dinner at Johnny's Alamanda. The food was excellent!!...








..though the quality of this picture is not as good, but you can still make out that it is a photo of me & Syakira. People say my daughter & I looks the same, what about you?..






..this is a picture of me and Alyaa. As you've noticed, she's pretending to be sleeping. How do I know?.. Notice the smile on her face?..









..all of this photos are made possible, thanks to the other Joary (the one next to me)..









... and today February 3rd, is Syakira's 4th birthday. We have already ordered a Powerpuff Girls cake for her and I hope that she will have fun eating it as much as we had fun ordering the cake.

But amidst all this happiness, I am very very sad because on Sunday, Syakira fell down & she was badly injured!!
She had bruises and cuts on her face..
Her left eye was badly swollen..

I pray that the cake will cheer her up!!!...
Mama's little baby is 4 today and soon your going out to the Real World.. know this, in that World, you will feel more pain than you felt on Sunday..
I pray that you will be ready for it!!...

February 1, 2009

..on a lighter note

...Interesting things happened to me during this whole week;
both sad & happy. And can you believe it, I am actually feeling happy,
genuinely happy!!.. which is rare for me!!..hehee...

Like for example yesterday, I received an alarming news of my sister. She is about 8weeks pregnant and she's bleeding profusely..praise be to Allah that the fetus is still intact, the doctors could see the little one's heartbeat!! Isn't God great!!

But there's an irony behind this news..
..no one knew that she's pregnant!!! No one! Not even my parents!!
Heheee.. so, the moral of this story is, NEVER KEEP AN INTERESTING & JUICY STORY A SECRET!! It will definitely be out in the open sooner than you think!..

hahaaa!!....

On a lighter note,

I received a text message from an old friend. I've been trying to get hold of this friend for a year now but, to no avail, my calls (& messages) are never returned. Yet, I never gave up because deep down I know, my calls (& messages) will one day be returned. Anyway, in the message it wrote, sorry for not contacting you for so long its just that I'm having some personal problems. I'm sorry..

Yeah right!!!
What is that all about!!??...
You have got to be kidding me!!!??
Are trying to insult my intelligence or something!!???....
I am DEFINITELY striking you out of my Black Book!!!

Question...I will go in-depth on this issues in another entry..
If a friend of yours in trouble and there's nothing you can do but you still want to help, how would you help?...

January 24, 2009

Is this Insomnia...

I think I may be suffering from insomnia (a mild one, I hope..)
What is Insomnia, actually?..
Isn't it a condition where you find it difficult to fall asleep?
During the night especially?
What about during the day?
If you feel tired during the day but you can't seem to fall asleep then,
is that also insomnia?

bummer!!...

I actually been having this sleeping problem for a few weeks now
and it is now catching up to me..
I am sleepy during the day especially around 11am to noon and once the clock strike 12:01, like a switch, I am no longer sleepy!! Often, I try to force myself to have a quick nap at around 3pm-4pm but, it never works!! I don't feel sleepy at all. If I force myself too hard, I will get a massive headache later on.. I find this predicament quite scary actually..don't you? Recently on Tuesday, I manage to fall asleep at around 3:30pm. It was the only compensation sleep I had through out this whole week.

It is now 12:45 midnite & in 15minutes it's 1:00 o'clock in the morning, I am so wide awake!!!.. I think, I may, probably, perhaps fall asleep at around 3:00 o'clock in the morning (like yesterday!!...)

hhmm...
Where can I find the cure?

A friend suggested that I go and seek professional help aka the doctor. But then they'll prescribe me with medications and in the long run, I will no longer experience the joy of falling asleep, falling into a deep, peaceful and beautiful sleep.. I don't want to loose that.

Sleeping is one of my pleasures of life. I enjoy sleeping very much..
I am famous for being the easiest person to fall asleep. I can sleep in any condition at any place...

Is this what happens to a person who will turn 40 in 3 years time?...
If that is the case, I don't want to turn 40...

January 19, 2009

do you facebook?

konichiwa...hello
komenei...i'm sorry

Lately I have been busy with my facebook.
It seems that many of my long lost friends are there
and now I am busy updating all of them.

I started with only 2 friends and now,
at present, I have 19...
aren't you proud of me?..

For every good invention, there is always one small downfall.
As for facebook, I think the only downfall that it has is, people can find you easily.. but then, that is the main purpose you do facebook, right?
To get people to find you...
Yes, you can though ignore their request for adding you as your friend but
that would be rude, don't you think?

humm.. what to do than to all those unwanted people that, for years you have successfully avoided them and now, within days, they have tracked you down and pinned you!?...

Do you think that they mind if I were to ignore their request?...
The Unwanted People?
The People that you are trying to Avoid?

humm.. what to do? what to do?

January 13, 2009

Dont do it if you cant handle the heat...

ohaiyo..

How is everyone this new year?
It has been 12 days already..excited? hehee so am I!
Can't wait to see what craziness will follow...

So, what have I been doing this 1week plus of the new year?
obsessed with 1 particular story..
can't stop thinking of it..
Yes, it is another Korean movie..I think I may have mentioned this story to you sometime ago, or didn't I?

As I was saying..
this story is basically about getting caught by your own spouses of your secret illicit affair.
Very messy!!! if you ask me.
I think, if you want to be involved in an affair, you have to take extra precaution as not to get caught however, you have to understand of the consequences..
At the same time, you also need to face the fact that one day, your affair will be out in the open. Its just a matter of time..

Why am I obsessed with this topic, you ask?
I guess its because that I'm worried for a friend of mine.
She is having a secret affair (of some sort) and I'm afraid for her. I know she wouldn't do anything but, we humans have our limits.. how long can we turn a blind eye on temptation?
I know I can't!!

Over the years, I have met with many, many people who got caught with affairs
and the outcome is never pretty.. ever.
Many will get hurt, intentionally or otherwise
It is fun while it lasted
but..
you are constantly reminded of your situation, having fun on borrowed times.
Which I find is not appealing...

So to those of you who are thinking of doing it,
think hard!!
Don't do it if you cant handle the heat...



the movie is called April Snow..
Bae Yong Joon (the hero)..

January 6, 2009

Which is your favourite Bae Yong Joon?

Hey!!!...

Haven't done anything exciting yet..
Earlier, while browsing YouTube, I came across this commercials..
2 of the most interesting Bae Yong Joon commercial.
Now tell me, honestly.. which is your favourite?

Option A :


..honestly, he makes me want to buy the whole damn shop!!

or Option B :


..doesn't it make you want to buy another pair of glasses?

hahh!!! either ways... I'm hooked!!!....
hahh!!! damn!!!...