November 21, 2007

The Gathering part 3

What will you get for someone who already has everything?

I'm confused!! This person I'm talking about has everything.
She has money
She has a good job
She owns a house and an expensive car
granted, she's not married but
above all, she can afford practically anything & everything you heart desires.

So, what sort of birthday present would you get?
Oh, did I mention that she is the 1st member of the Joary Clan?
aka the eldest sister?
No? My bad!!

The gathering is this Sunday, Nov 25th. I was thinking of not attending this gathering or in other words, "chicken out"...
No?.. why not!? I'm not so keen to meet the whole clan.

Why am I not keen to meet them? I don't know!??
maybe I'm afraid they'll know my dirty little secret.. Its not That dirty, its just a matter of self integrity. I told one of the elder of this matter and it seems that the elder wants me to make the matter public. I don't feel I should do it. I mean, as long as one of the elder knows, i'll be ok. As I said earlier, if I were to make this matter public, I will lose my self integrity...

Life has taught me that, no matter what you do or say,
NEVER LOSE YOUR SELF INTEGRITY
and I'm planning to do just that. Some might say its not right, after all we are family but, I would rather shut my gap until there is the need to do otherwise...

Does this make me a stubborn person?

November 15, 2007

Hoo Humm

..Nothing much has change since my last entry.
Life has been quite a challenge lately and I don't know why..
I'm scared to face what lay ahead, afraid to see what tomorrow brings..

'Scared'(?) is that the right description of what I'm feeling??
I could use 'anxious' or.... I'm lost for words!!!

For the first time in my life, I cant describe this feeling I have inside!!.
I feel I need to protect my family, my girls especially from whatever that is
out there. I wish I knew what's bothering me.. Everything seems wrong lately.
I'm sure my spouse is not doing anything "funny" behind my back because, at the end of the day, i read his phone messages (sms...hahhaahhhaaa....) so, what could this feelings be??!!!......

You don't get what I'm trying to say, huh?!?!...
I wish I could talk about this to someone, but how do I say it? How do I put in words this feelings I have so that people could actually understand what I'm trying to tell them.

November 7, 2007

I'm Ok , really

Heyy...what have you been up to since i'm gone?
anything interesting? hahaa... i knew you didn't do much.
Just waiting for me to post some entry on the blog, huh?? haahaa...

I'm fine. The nausea is almost gone now, ALMOST!!
I still throw up once in awhile, depending on the situation.
As you can see, I'm at my 10weeks, that means almost 3mths,
which means the First Difficult Trimester is almost over. Yayy for me!!!

We are suppose to move to a new house sometime in January 2008, but I haven't
started packing anything. I was hoping to start packing as soon as my First Trimester ends but, I should start earlier, right?

I didn't tell you that we are moving, did I? ooppss, my bad!!
We are moving to a house, double storey with a small garden and a small garage... yayy!!!
I really like this house, even if it's not our real house but, a house nonetheless.
The girls have a place to run around and ride their bicycle. Not far from the house, about a few meters away, there's a playground perfect for my girls, which is another plus point for this residence area. I was also told that there is a good kindergarten within this area. They teach the basic teaching of Islam (for children) English, a little of Math, music..the whole package. I wonder if my girls will be happy at that school? But no worries, they are still too young for school. I still have 3-4 years (give and take) before they are ready for serious social interaction.

Yesterday, I received a phone call from a very-very close friend. She wanted to know how I am. Yes, you are right! She read this blog and wanted to congratulate on my pregnancy. Strange though, she didn't sound happy. She actually sound sad. Did my last entry made her cry? Was it really sad?... I'm sorry if I made you cry and sad. I didn't mean it to sound sad even though I was sad at that point of time but, hmm... it must my writing then. My writing must be very good that it leaves an impact to anyone who reads it!!?? Hahhaaaahaaaa!!!! It's not everyday you get to boast and proud of it!

So, this is my entry for now. I need to go and be a mother. One of them are awake and I need to put her back to sleep..

Adios amigos