The Jealous wife...

A wife's nightmare...
Do you know how scary it is to labeled as The Jealous Wife??
It is not something we want to be proud of.
In fact, no one, not even an ant wants to admit
that they are jealous of
something
or
someone...

I have always told myself that,
whom ever that are jealous of their partner
are
lame... with capital L, capital A, capital M, capital E!!

and now, I am beginning to become LAME!!...

ah!! the shame!!...

Do you know that people DO actually kill other people out of jealousy?
They call it Crime of Passion...

LAME!!...

oh crap!!!

From the bottom of my heart, I am so happy to see that my husband is finally happy & comfortable at his workplace. I know he hasn't had this feeling for a very long time; and with "very" I mean more than 10 years. He is also finally, opening up about his office gossips & politics (me being, a gossip-monger..hehee). It took me all these years waiting for him to share these stories with me, but now whenever he starts telling...

I get really jealous!!..
my heart feels like exploding!!..
I become agitated!!..

Don't get me wrong, its not that I get crazy with everyone,
just one..
One particular sheila!!

arrgghh!!!!... what is wrong with me!!!
I am trying to stay positive in this matter
but...
I do not think it is working...

He and the sheila need to work closely; and by "closely" I mean together..
that is a good thing, right(?)
because he has an assistant, at long last, am I not right(!!??)

then why, whenever I give myself this excuse I feel
like I'm choking!??
my heart feels that it is at my throat??

I really hate this feeling of distrust..

A friend of mine gave me a pointer..
She said that this feeling maybe due to the fact that I do not know this sheila..
She is actually an outsider, not our common friend
and because of this,
I actually feels threatened (!!!??)

Me? threatened!! please!!!..(???)

..at first I find her point rather LAME but,
after long, very long consideration, she might be on to something!!

crap!!!...

Recently, someone mentioned to me Sigmund Freud's' Iceberg Theory.. I find the theory speaks to me..
What I'm showing to people are only at the tip of the iceberg
but the real problem is below the sea..
the iceberg that is as big as a mountain

We have only been married for 8years but, I've known my husband my entire adult life.
One should think that, I should know him better..
I do (???)...

I guess my worst fear is that he might decided to be "adventurous" like everyone else on this planet.. and somehow give this sheila a chance on him...

He said that he is not having an affair and that he's relationship with this sheila is strictly professional..

than pray tell,
why does the sheila need to call my husband on a Sunday afternoon?
Of course, its work related but on a Sunday, afternoon?

.. please!!! LAME!!!

What matter could be THAT important that the sheila can't wait until Monday?
The last time I checked, no one makes a call work-related on a Sunday afternoon!!

I can understand if it's on a Saturday but Weekends!!??!!

Weekends are for family!!

...crap!!!

I am the kind of person who avoids confrontation at all cost.. but than
how am I going to end this meaningless (if it is meaningless..) nightmare?

I'm sure my husband will come across this entry in a few days time...

I'll be ready to answer all his questions
... I hope!!