House of Fire

Where do I begin to tell my story
the chaotic story of
my unprecedented life?

Aahh!! Life... it is so unpredictable!!
you spend your time without the slightest idea that
something that is so unpredictable is about to happen.. and when it does..
it leaves you speechless, dumbfounded and scarred even.

So, how do you handle the aftermath?
Do you carry on and cry 24/7? or
Do you try to find something or someone to blame for all that has happened? or
Do you accept your fate with (false) pride & dignity for everyone to see even though you are breaking into small pieces like a shattered glass.

That was what I did.
I lead everyone around me to believe that me & my family are fine and that we are ok.

Do they know that I am crying inside?
Do they see that the smile and laughter does not reflect in my eyes?

I couldn't show the world how broken I was.
I couldn't even cry or else my girls would see me and they could not shake their nightmares.
I didn't have the heart to tell my husband how scarred I was because he too needed me to be strong for him.

So, what can I really do for myself?
I too needed help..

Untill now, the sight of fire & smoke still scares me..
me and my 4year old child
and I'm sure, my husband too still has nightmares of the incident on the morning of
March 3rd 2009 ...