March 23, 2010

A photograph on the Mantel...

People say, as you age you become wiser...
Do you actually become wiser and more sensitive of your surroundings?
One would say that they do but, do you really?

I am blessed to be surrounded by people who cares.
They helped me and my family build back our lives after that fire incident a year ago

but alas, it is not without a consequence..

Some how I get the feeling that I am subjected to their whims and desires.
I have tried to be a good daughter, sibling but somehow, it is still not to their satisfactory..

It is common courtesy, when you have a function, you invite people.. close friends, family members..but somehow that doesnt happen to me.

Why is that?

Could they be ashamed of me because of all the bad incidents that kept happening to me?
Could it be that they find me disgusting?
Could they really despise me that much?

Alright, maybe because a few functions that was organized a few years back, we did not attend. We had good reason for not attending..
Are we being punished for that? If we are, it isn't fair...

I was told that last Friday, my parents and the rest of family members had a small get together for my nieces' birthday, I wasn't informed which means that I was not invited..right!?. Again, on Saturday, they gathered again at my sister's place for another small gathering before she flies off to Europe for a week.. I was not invited to this gathering but,(by some miracle) I was informed that she's flying off that Saturday.

2 incidents in 3 days...
How would you feel?

The irony off all this is, my parents was there at both events and their excuse was "they did not want to trouble me..."

...

After I heard the Friday gathering, my "sweet" little sister said to me "aww!!..are you angry that we did not informed you?"

...

my alter ego stepped in and answered (unconsciously) "No, it's ok!!.."

...

What pisses me off is, when I called my parents on Saturday and Sunday, they somehow failed to mention of the Friday gathering...

...

Am I really that insignificant?
Do I not have a heart?
Am I not part of that family?

I am so angry..

...

I am 38 years old and today, I understand how it must have felt...
to be forgotten in time, slowly...

Just like the many photographs on the mantel
collecting dust..alone..forgotten..